dispersion

Day 36

When life gets rough I close my eyes Then I wake here

Sitting cross legged I feel the waterfall on my back The warm sun and brilliant sky before me

The weight of each droplet hurts A thrumming pummeling wave Travels over my head neck Slamming down my back

I don't try to end the torrent Breathing slowly, letting go I embrace this

Pieces of my body start to chip away Slow at first, then quicker and quicker Collapsing into the water

Soon I am nothing Just colors swirling in a pool below a waterfall

Somehow I can still feel Somehow I can still see Somehow I can grow and so I do

I let myself reach out Let myself find warmth Following that heat Until I find the source

There at the hot spring I relax and let myself coalesce until I form into something like me again

Not the broken mass struggling under a torrent But A new person having survived it


I don't do that visualization as much as I used to. But so many times I would be in board rooms or giving a talk. The eyes of people looking or when I misspoke seeing how my words missed the mark. Id go back to a cube or an open space, my small designated corner of the world. I'd put my head in my hands and I would see the above poem.

Life can be so hard sometimes and I know it could always be worse but I have this nagging feeling. That this life isn't how things should be. You shouldn't work years for the privilege of baseline economic security.

Why can't I just become a doctor or poet or artist because I want to. Where is my time and choice? Why does it always have to be so one sided.

People are kaleidoscopes In a world that frowns on colors

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